YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRETEND THAT YOU ARE HAPPY, for this will only mask a sense of self-pity, compound your confusion and deepen your dilemma. Today be yourself, but be self observant, keeping in mind that Knowledge is with you as you vacillate to and from, towards and away from Knowledge itself. Because Knowledge does not vacillate, it is a source of certainty, consistency and stability for you. Because it is unafraid of the world, it is a source of fearlessness for you. You are not pitiful, so you need not pretend.
DO NOT PRETEND TO BE HAPPY TODAY, for he or she who is truly satisfied may cast any expression upon the world, but within their expression will be the power of Knowledge. This is what is most important. Knowledge is not a form of behavior. It is an intense experience of life. Therefore, do not attempt to persuade yourself or others with a demonstration of behavior, for this is unnecessary.
REPEAT THIS STATEMENT UPON THE HOUR and feel its power and its gift of freedom. Allow yourself to be exactly as you are today. In your two deep meditation practices, allow yourself to enter stillness, for when you are not trying to be someone, you may have the luxury of stillness, which is the luxury of love.
Practice 124: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.